What do you need?

It’s 2:04 AM, sleep nowhere in sight

My mind decides it’s the best time to contemplate life

So now I sit and wonder, about love, family, life

And everything that matters

Or should I say everything that should matter.

I think about the kind of person I want to be

My goals seeming so out of reach

Money? Love? Soulmate? Dream job?

What is it that I need

What is it that I want

I realised it’s time to sort my priorities

Society was extremely clear,

Married by 25, kids by 30

What more would I ever need

I just wish I had such clarity

My whole life ahead of me

So much to accomplish, so much to achieve

So as a modern 21^st century feminist

What is it that I need?

A part of me longed to reach the pinnacle of success

The other just wanted love, a friendly soul to hold me,

For once my mind and heart agreed, that

They both were as clueless as they could be.

My deepest, darkest fear crept in

That I’ll just be an insignificant speck in this universe

That I wouldn’t matter, wouldn’t make a difference

So now as I write this, I decide

That today I’m going to end my insecurities

It’s ok if I fail at times,

It’s ok if my prince charming doesn’t save me,

I’m going to save myself

Strive hard to be all that I want to be

Cause right now, my fears are giving me a picture

Of what is it that I need

So right now, I put my heart to rest,

My dream of a mills and boons romance taking a back seat

Right now, I focus on no-one but me

I focus on being happy, on being a better person

The one that I want to be

Working on turning my dreams into a reality,

I focus on the people who already love me

Rather than waiting for a stranger

Who is supposedly the one for me

So now all I have to say to the world

Is you better watch out,

I’ve figured out what I need,

I need to prove myself, for none other than me

And No matter what happens

I’m not accepting defeat

Its 2:58 now, I finally decide to sleep

With a sense of purpose, a fire burning deep

Promising myself, that tomorrow

Will be a new day, a new beginning

I’m going to be all that I can be !

So have you decided? What is it that you need?